I worked on a feature film set last year; the whole cast and crew where booked into the same hotel. I was sharing a room too; it was hard to find any time alone for a whole month.

I tried to find a place in the hotel to sit and read, I would get up late at night to read, write and think in the hotel reception. I didn’t care if I lacked sleep for the next day, I just needed at least one hour or so every day to hear silence and be alone.

When I quit working on film sets I didn’t know why I was so full of anxiety at the shear thought of going back to work. We are told film productions are a team effort, a collaboration, so I should be getting along with everyone and be more than happy to spend every waking hour with everyone involved in the production.

I started to think that I just couldn’t handle film sets. I am not a naturally social person, I didn’t even know the word introverted then, I thought I was going insane to desire so much time alone. A few months later I searched for the cause of my ‘madness’, I came across the word introvert. Soon after I took a Myers Briggs personality test, I came out as INTJ (the rarest and most introverted one). I am happy to have found that there are other people in this world like me, I’ve spent my entire life thinking I was some sort of alien that couldn’t connect with people, turns out there are a lot of us aliens about.

I found solace when I read this article about director Ang Lee being an introvert – Director Ang Lee: The artist, the introvert

021913_0009_INTJPersona1

 September 26, 2014
 

An old short film. Made during the first year of university when we where asked to make a 10-15min film on romance.

 September 25, 2014
 

I have an idea of how things in the film industry should be.

I’m sure anyone who has worked within it for a number of years does too. This past year (that I have had off) has made me settle some ideas in my mind. I walked off my last set a year ago an NHS training video to be exact. The director took the job too seriously, he didn’t like the chosen location, changed it on the day made a 12hr day a 20hr or so. He didn’t know what a script supervisor was so he put me in the art dept. I remember looking at a mistake and thinking, what’s the point, there is no fun in this, I’m tired, hungry and I don’t want to work with bad directors anymore.

I had a little nervous breakdown, apologised to the producer, there was no point in me being here, and I left. I know bad directors; I have only met a handful of good ones. I think I have high expectations, to me the director is the captain of the ship, and they should be strong, full of knowledge, care about the project and care about everyone involved.

I must have worked on 15 shorts, 11 features, 1 commercial, 1 TV show.

Of course I haven’t done anything yet myself. I haven’t directed anything creative since uni ended and that was two years ago. Since then I have learnt way too much too quickly, got depressed and dug myself into heavy debt.

My boyfriend has been directing music videos this past year and has suggested that I give them a go. So in the next few weeks I am going to do a couple of music videos for free to see how it goes.

Creative therapy perhaps.

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 September 23, 2014

Who is Amy Clarke?

Hi, I am Amy Clarke a 23 year old filmmaker from England. Through this site I wish to share my knowledge, experiences and passion for film making. Read more About Amy or contact her here

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