I am sick of living in poverty. Just getting by, I spend less than £10 a week. Life is boring when there is nothing to look forward too and I have little motivation. I am planning on getting a proper full time job by November. I’ll try this full time job thing again. I want enough money to get a haircut, buy some books, eat out once a month, no more starving artist. Getting a job in this world is very difficult right now.

“I grew up watching ‘Friends’, Sheldon Cooper says he has 9 friends that’s more than I have! I have really got to stop watching daytime TV!”

I wanted this blog to be an honest look at how I become a film director. A title I hope one day to have the confidence to call myself. I find that most people only gloat and show their highlight reel online – never their behind the scenes troubles. I am going to build myself up again and change is good.


I am going to finish a music video this week for a local band. A simple concept to start things off. I have written about 17,000 words of poetry which makes sense to make into a book eventually. Although I have only written 12 pages of my feature film script, things are progressing in baby steps.

Films to relate too

I have signed up to Mubi and pour myself over cinema at least once a day,  yesterday I watched Andrea Arnolds – Red Road. Before that Swedish coming of age film – Pure. One film that any Freeter can relate too is Japanese indie film – Tamako in Moratorium.

I am in my Moratorium stage right now and that is OK we all have are down moments.

But next week expect a music video online, the first stage of slowly building myself back up again.


 October 14, 2014

A music video I made for a band in college.

I shot half of a music video for a band yesterday, soon there will be new stuff to see.)

 October 8, 2014

I worked on a feature film set last year; the whole cast and crew where booked into the same hotel. I was sharing a room too; it was hard to find any time alone for a whole month.

I tried to find a place in the hotel to sit and read, I would get up late at night to read, write and think in the hotel reception. I didn’t care if I lacked sleep for the next day, I just needed at least one hour or so every day to hear silence and be alone.

When I quit working on film sets I didn’t know why I was so full of anxiety at the shear thought of going back to work. We are told film productions are a team effort, a collaboration, so I should be getting along with everyone and be more than happy to spend every waking hour with everyone involved in the production.

I started to think that I just couldn’t handle film sets. I am not a naturally social person, I didn’t even know the word introverted then, I thought I was going insane to desire so much time alone. A few months later I searched for the cause of my ‘madness’, I came across the word introvert. Soon after I took a Myers Briggs personality test, I came out as INTJ (the rarest and most introverted one). I am happy to have found that there are other people in this world like me, I’ve spent my entire life thinking I was some sort of alien that couldn’t connect with people, turns out there are a lot of us aliens about.

I found solace when I read this article about director Ang Lee being an introvert – Director Ang Lee: The artist, the introvert


 September 26, 2014

An old short film. Made during the first year of university when we where asked to make a 10-15min film on romance.

 September 25, 2014

Who is Amy Clarke?

Hi, I am Amy Clarke a 23 year old filmmaker from England. Through this site I wish to share my knowledge, experiences and passion for film making. Read more About Amy or contact her here

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